Moving on to other Internet Trendy Blogging Thingies

So it turns out I rarely have the inspiration to write what I consider a blog-length post. However I often see things I'd like to share with the 8 people who read this and it's just a short thought, picture, or video. Keeping up with my habit of being years behind internet trends, I've finally discovered what a tumblr is and realized it is perfect for just such a thing! It's like a blog, but shorter! 5 years later than everyone else who's discovered tumblr, here is mine:

Stuff on My Dog

First it was just stuff on my dog, but then I realized I don't have quite enough content to fill that (which is a bit surprising if you know me). So now it's stuff on my dog, dog on my stuff and more! Joe and Torque have already made their tumblr debuts and I'm pretty sure all the animals will be tumblr stars sooner or later. Weeeeee!

On Peens and Boxes of Cookies

It's been oh so long since I've posted anything on this here bloggity blog. I've been working and keeping busy. The job is pretty great in terms of having time outside of work to have a life, go to yoga, go to trivia, bake food, and watch movies with Stanley Tucci in them on my instant Netflix.

Lots has happened in the last 6 months, including a cross-country trip to an amazing wedding in Pennsylvania, a girls' weekend in Seattle, and a short-lived but intense romance. You may be wondering what has inspired me to get back on the blogging horse. It must be something huge right?! Obvs.
The other day I was riding in the car with Kerry en route to see Burlesque and we heard the most amazingly inappropriate song. It is called "Shake" and it is a song about a girl who is addicted to the singer's peen. Like, asking for re-ups (a phrase my whitey self has only heard on The Wire) and getting physical withdrawals without his box of cookies (a euphemism for penis you should know after watching Burlesque, an amazing movie worthy of its own blog post). Seriously. Here are some of the lyrics:
"I got her number
We started chillin'
We started buzzin'
And got addicted
Now I, I'm the one she can't live without
I bet that's her right now

Shorty hitting me up
Says she wanna re-up
Knows I got the best in town
Cuz when she get the shivers
She nows that I delivered
I'm the one who holds her down

...

One day she started texting me
Asking if she coulda borrow that recipe
I told her, loving you is my speciality
She said, well, give it up, up, give it up, up"


We had initially chalked it up to the Biebs cause it sounded just like our favorite Canadian pre-pubescent YouTube star. (I apologize in advance for besmirching his good name in my mind). It's a young lad named Jesse McCartney who just sounds like the fabulously coiffed superstar but we should've known such innocence would never compare his own penis to crack.


It's not that I'm a prude or anything. I've been known to rock out to Teaches of Peaches or Avenue D, but they don't try to come off as teeny-boppers on the radio who just graduated from the Mickey Mouse Club though amiright? Perhaps I'm just getting old and all Helen Lovejoy on everyone.


Nah, i don't really care. Let the kiddies compare their junk to crack. I will secretly love it and listen to it. And speaking of getting old, today is my birfday! Hottness. It's been pretty rad. Got messages from friends from all corners of the globe, had a nice lunch with co-workers and am about to have dinner with some of my fav ladyfriends. This weekend I'm having a bday party at the Hop and Vine. This birthday has been so much better than last year for many reasons, not the least of which is no longer working at a job that I hate and leeches away at my soul. Of course my family and friends also make me feel like this pretty much all the time so that helps too.

MegaMosquitrons

I'm still working on the name but I have a great idea for a SyFy movie. I've been watching a couple world cup matches since it's one of the only sports I can actually sit through. I know that vuvuzelas have been the subject of many a "wtf is that!?" and "cheesus that's so annoying!" stories. My first thought when I heard them was "jesus are there massive insects floating around the world cup stadium!" Hence, MegaMosquitrons (or maybe "MegaMansquitos?")

The premise will be something along the lines of a sexy female researcher (Debbie Gibson and Tiffany seem to be busy making Mega Python v. Gatoroid, my vote: Monica) doing experiments on some non-specific disease spread by mosquitoes. Then something goes horribly wrong and the mosquitoes are accidentally injected with some huge growth DNA, start growing at a monumental pace, and bust out to terrorize the locals.



Surprisingly there are not many pictures of Monica wearing nerd glasses and a lab coat. But just picture her in front of a microscope, taking notes, and speaking very seriously about nucleotides and protein strands.

They megamosquitoes (gigantormosquitoes?) look like this, except about 2358 times bigger.


There will also have to be some secondary love plot with a sexy law enforcement official or maybe a CDC guy worried about diseases or an overzealous entomologist. It's still a work in progress but you get my drift. I think the ultimate showdown would be at a soccer match and there would be many scenes of angry soccer fans looking around wondering who the assholes with vuvuzelas are and then BAM! they'll look up and be attacked by gigantic mosquitoes!

I'll be accepting that emmy nomination any day now.

Foodz and Movie Reviews

Hey there! Long time no see. It's been forevs. A lot has been going on here, what with my crazy busy life and all.



UPDATE: I figured out how to add .gifs to this thing! I feel so internet saavy.

Eh not really. I did make it out to Poland for an awesome wedding where I drank and danced and ate a lot, including this meat in aspic dish. It's not just a Julia Child favorite! I also tried Polish moonshine and had roughly 72635 shots of vodka over the course of the week.



I stopped by Prague on the way home and ran around the city with a wonderfully delightful host who has more energy in a day than I do in 2 weeks. Here's just one of the many shots I took of the city.



Besides that I've been catching up on my Netflix queue (including Waiting for God and Party Down), hanging out with Maude, and eating a lot of great meals with friends. The neatest was a summer solstice bbq that involved an entire pig.




That picture not good enough? Oh excuse me. Here's a better one.





Hopefully that fulfills your close-up-charred-pig-carcass viewing quota for the day.

The only other thing I have to share for now is the internet's newest and bestest blog, KT is en route to become the queen of trivia. I would highly recommend giving yourself at least an entire afternoon to digest and process the brilliance of her movie reviews. About "Major League":

"Anyway, I am not sure what I am supposed to write, but I should start by saying it was funny. Though it was not funnier than...(pausing to think about the name of the movie)...(still pausing because I can't remember)... anyway, it was not funnier than the movie I watched two weekends ago with the guy with gray hair who looks like the guy who was in another movie with gray hair with a really tall or long nose. I don't know his name or the other guy's name. I've seen the other guy with the tall nose more on tv than the guy in the movie I saw two weekends ago."

I'm just saying Roger Ebert better watch his fucking back.

OH and I almost forgot. I got an actual jobby job with benies and regular hours and a regular paycheck! Pretty soon I will be buying Maude a outfit that resembles this detailed rendering of what rich dogs wear.



How dapper!

Awesome Movie Night

I had a really nice night on Friday. I got together with a couple of my WineBookClub friends, caught up over apps and wine, and watched some Glee. My WBC ladies are awesome for realz. Then I celebrated Suji's birthday at the XV, which I hadn't been to in many years. This old lady stayed out after midnight! So today I've had a much chiller day at home. Thought about going out for another friend's bday but decided to just take it easy. And boy am I glad I stayed in! If not, I probably would've never found out that Debbie "electric youth" Gibson has a very accomplished acting career, as evidenced in the groundbreaking "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octupus."



That, my friends, is a picture of a shark attacking an airplane. The acting is atrocious, the effects are laughable, and with lines like "Don't love the ocean too much. It doesn't love you back!" you know this film was totally robbed of an Oscar nomination last year. Those elitist bastards.

Before that, I got to watch one of my favorite movies when measuring by quotability. I'm talking about The Heathers of course.


"Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count." "She's my best friend. God I hate her." Such a classic.

Bluffin Muffins

The last two days I've been baking some fuckin muffins.

The first day, we made this recipe from Smitten Kitchen and they were good but not particularly flavorful.



My main contribution, as is usually the case, is chopping stuff. This time I got to chop some roasted walnuts. I also made the creamy ricotta cheese/sour cream filling but that only consisted of putting the two in a bowl and mixing. Nothing too fancy.


Today Kerry had the good idea of sassing the recipe up a bit with some orange zest and honey in the filling and some vanilla bean in the muffin mix. They turned out awesome.


So I need some inspiration for things to do this weekend and next week. Anything that requires me leaving the house and that isn't very expensive. I'm feeling a bit stir crazy staying in all day (I took Maude on 3 walks today!) but I don't just wanna go to a coffee shop for the sake of leaving the house (cause those lattes add up.) Any ideas besides getting fat off of baked goods?

Moneez!

This has been quite the week for winning at bar games! As I mentioned earlier this week, we hit up the bingo on Monday night instead of the regular Bachelor + dinner evening since there was some boring reunion where one of the ladies tried to malign Chris Harrison's reputation (doesn't she know that every time someone hurts Chris Harrison's feelings, a puppy dies?) The grand finale is next week. Will it be Tenley or Vienna? (or will Ali come back in a not-shocking SHOCKING twist?!) The gossip mags never even talk about Tenley so my money is on Vienna, though sadly she is not in my bracket anymore, so I guess I can't put my money on it.

Anyway, to get back to bar winnings - Kathryn totally kicked ass at Bingo and won the 1st round. It cost $1 per board and all the money was put in a jar, so when Kathryn won, the bingo announcer poured all the money on her head! It was raining dollar billz!

To be fair, the picture doesn't quite capture the moment. Kathryn's reaction was a bit more like this:

It was an exciting night and though no one at our table won the 2nd round, we did get a round of margaritas and a delicious biscuit.

Last night we went to Thirsty Lion for a young lawyers schmoozy networking event that was followed by their pub trivia. We were #1 the entire way through until the very last round where we underestimated ourselves and didn't bid enough in the "final jeopardy" type bidding round. We still got 2nd though and won $60 and a bottle of champagne.



It wasn't enough to rain money but it was just enough to make a cash fan. I'm taking those $1s and hitting the strip club*!




*Not really. Drag show? Maybe.