Here's a Post...about Stuff..and some other stuff...

Contrary to my crappy blogging record, I do in fact think about rainbows and unicorns and unicorn rainbows often. I'm always hoping I get inspiration for a full blog post (and tonight's Drag Race finale + reunion special is sure to inspire). Speaking of which, my bestie from college was up here this weekend with her man friend and we had a great weekend browsing through Powell's, eating amazing doughnuts with bacon on them, winning $ on the Oregon lotto scratchies at the boozeria, and watching the entire season of Drag Race (thanks Logo marathon!). I had "The Greatest Love of All" stuck in my head for most of today and I had to fight the urge to yell "extravaganza eleganza!," "camerooooon!" and saying "loca don't touch my mangoes loca!" It was hard, but I held it in till I got home.


I want to listen to books on tape read by Ms. Nina Flowers. Team Nina for the win!

Aaaaanyway, lately, beyond Drag Race and the cats, I have not been very inspired. I've gone through my p.b.p. tag on my google reader (possible blog posts) in case I had tagged something for later and forgot about it. Turns out when I read the internetz late at night after a few glasses of wine I like really silly shit.

Like mutant rodents:


Or random ads about delicious food staples:


Yeesh! For some reason I guess I just think these will perfectly accompany some random story about something silly. But really, what could I possibly write about where anthropomorphous food will be applicable? Giant rodents maybe, but a cheeseheaded man? I highly doubt it.

But as long as I just keep this in mind, I think I'll be ok.

Thanks gay rainbow superhero man. I do believe in myself.

Gettin all cat lady on you

The last 2 weeks have been quite the moving party (hence the lack of posting). As an unwritten rule, I move at least once a year. I've been squatting at a friend's house for the past 8 months so I was ready to move in somewhere that's not just my friend's room, but my bed, my books, and my (albeit crappy) furniture. I moved to NE Portland with the bestie and it's fab fab fab. My new house also comes with 2 kitties and we had a fun animal hospital visit already. Little Joseph Stalin had a rough transition from his old house to here and stuck himself up in the ceiling of the basement of his old house. During his adventure, we suspect he got his face in some fiberglass insulation and ended up with a weird puncture-wound-looking cut on his cheek. Last Saturday it looked like not a big deal but Sunday it was bleeding and not so pretty so we went over to Dove Lewis (which is definitely a god send for pet emergencies, not like this one was, but I'm glad it's there) and Joe ended up with this fine looking accessory.



Needless to say, he LOVED his new astronaut look. But after a week of antibiotics and confusion when his plastic necklace hit things like the wall or the couch, he's mostly better now. It's scabbed over nicely and he's not scratching it. And just so I don't leave Torque out, here's a video of him doing some sit-ups while we were watching The Office last week.

Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent

I started a post about Drag Race last week before I moved to my fab new house:

"I posted about Drag Race a few weeks ago, and don't think I've forgotten about it! The wonders of the internet and Logo mean I get to watch it every week despite me not having a TV or cable. And I've got some favorites I want to share.

Ongina is the cutest Filipina ever to fierce her way down a catwalk. Bebe Zahara is 10 kinds of fabulous and Nina Flowers..oh Nina. I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

My fab new house comes with supermega cable that includes Bravo, Fox Reality Show Network, Fine Living Network, National Geographic Channel (yay Dog Whisperer!!!) and Logo. I just watched the new episode of Drag Race and ::major spoiler alert:: I am so disappointed that Ru kicked Ongina off!! WTF?! She was one of the best. This is just like when Austin Scarlett got auf'd from Proj Run. Rebecca Glasscock is Drag Race's Wendy Pepper.





You were too good for reality tv.

I would write more about this unfairness but it's late and I have to go to bed. It's been a long weekend of moving and shizz but hopefully I'll have some fun pictures from my new place (I'm trying to get one of the cats while they're still confused as to why I'm around more. Their wtf face is adorbs!) Till then cuddle up with an owl that's cuddling up with a fake owl.

I know how you feel little guy. The world is cruel.

The Not-State-of-the-Union

I have to admit. Political speeches just aren't as funny anymore. No new words, no gross mispronunciations, no vague and unsubstantiated threats from things like human animal hybrids. I still remember a time when one could finish off 4, maybe 5 beers in roughly an hour, just from George Bush saying the word "terrorism." Luckily for the country (and my liver) those days are over. Obama's speech was like his previous, well-prepared speeches. Awesome, thoughtful, and leaves little room for disappointment.

Luckily, we still have the Republican response. That's where Bobby "the excorcist" Jindal comes in! Besides making fun of light rail and bringing up Katrina (seriously, why would a Republican even bring up that colossal Republican failure?), didn't he sound suspiciously (and hilariously) like Kenneth from 30 Rock? Just picture it...

"During Katrina, I visited Sheriff Harry Lee, a Democrat and a good friend of mine. When I walked into his makeshift office I'd never seen him so angry. He was yelling into the phone: 'Well, I'm the Sheriff and if you don't like it you can come and arrest me!' I asked him: 'Sheriff, what's got you so mad?' He told me that he had put out a call for volunteers to come with their boats to rescue people who were trapped on their rooftops by the floodwaters. The boats were all lined up ready to go -- when some bureaucrat showed up and told them they couldn't go out on the water unless they had proof of insurance and registration. I told him, 'Sheriff, that's ridiculous.' And before I knew it, he was yelling into the phone: 'Congressman Jindal is here, and he says you can come and arrest him too!' Harry just told the boaters to ignore the bureaucrats and start rescuing people. "

Can't you just see Kenneth saying that! And the cartoonishness of that story convinced me that the evil bureaucrat looked something like this:

As he let out an evil guffaw before running off mumbling something about a mouse and squirrel.

I twittered the speech with my friend Julia (who, no joke, has Russian parents named Boris and Natasha) and I had a twitter-jinx with my friend Kim about how Bobby sounded just like everyone's favorite NBC page. Then I looked on Wonkette and they liveblogged the phenomena. OS Khang has already done the appropriate photoshopping. Goes to show that all of your original ideas are probably shared by hundreds of people on the Internet.

Weeeeeee? In 3 Acts.

I.


II.


III.

Narwhal Rainbows

A friend of mine had shared pictures of the narwhal before via Google Reader.



I'd think, "hey that's funny, putting a horn on whales! Oh people and their photoshop."

Then one day this same friend shared a video on BBC of the narwhals, with commentary by none other than David Attenborough. Then I went through a paradigm shift (without a clutch) and couldn't believe that there is an animal that strange that I never knew existed. I mean, it's not like a puffin or a duck-billed platypus that looks like they shouldn't exist but do. I've known about those for years. Going to the dentist as a child basically assures that you've come across puffins, platypi, hippos, even mole rats and capybaras. They're in all those cheesy kids magazines. But where were the narwhals? Never once have I come across the unicorn of the sea. I don't know why I'm so bothered by it, but I feel like there may be a whole world of animals I don't know. Next you'll be telling me twonicorns are real (and that they puke rainbows when they burp)!



I'd rename my site Narwhal Rainbows if Unicorn wasn't such a cool word. But I do want to spearhead the NARLY?! movement (narwhals really?!) to bring attention to this much ignored species. If I had a sports team or a club, I would have a narwhal as my mascot. The fightin' narwhals!

How Agrado Spent Her Weekend

That pretty much sums up my weekend. Laying around all day reading is awesome. Friday night I did leave the house and go out for a little while to celebrate my friend's bday. I also made some awesome Vietnamese food on Saturday eve with the bestie, and I did get a new bed for the house I'll be moving into in about 2 weeks. It hasn't all been lazy. But mostly.

A note on my new bed: Macy's is having a big mattress sale, including their show mattresses. I got my new queen mega cheap because it was on the floor. At first I was a little creeped out by the idea of lots of people testing it out. But then I remembered my first bed here was from a used bed place (PJ's Sleep Shop on Hawthorne - good people if you need a bed on the cheap). No one has ever actually slept in my new one. Just random people maybe jumping on it. The neatest part of it is that for the showroom floor, they make beds that are half firm, half plush to save space. I couldn't decide which I liked better, so now I have a queen bed with both! One half is firm, the other is soft and comfy. It's magic.

Finally, not to ignore the fact that today is President's Day (and my office is closed! woot!) plz to enjoy this informative and educational video about Washington. I bet you didn't know he ate opponents' brains and invented cocaine.


He'll save childeren, but not the British children.