Yummies

I've had a crazy whirlwind day today, including a visit to the Kinko's to fax a form to my loan peeps so I don't have to pay my student loans for awhile and a couple games of knock-off Settlers of Catan (called Xplorers) which a FB friend introduced me to. Now I'm at the Extracto coffeehouse on Killingsworth finishing up a pro bono project I started on Friday (yes, Agrado has a heart of gold y'all). But I had to stop and tell my 3 readers that they must get here to try the marionberry cheesecake bar post haste! That + an IZZE drink (which I've never had before but now I'm a convert) has been the perfect mid-day snack.



After I'm done with this, I think I'll get back to my hectic schedule of


and maybe a little of



Oh! And I'm going to play Bingo with Kathryn and Kerry and a bunch of other people tonight! I'm hoping there will be plenty of hipster old ladies there. I never win at games of chance but at least it requires leaving the house.

Glambert & Weir

My two new favorite things (and also a good name for a law firm - Glambert & Weir LLP?)

I didn't watch the season of American Idol that Glambert was on but his new album is amazing. It's such a wonderful dancey pop sensation. It's been an inspiration every time I put it in my CD player (yea I know...way to be a luddite about technology. As soon as I get another job, I'll get another ipod!).

Isn't this the most glamazing (glamorous + amazing!) album cover ever?! The hot new dance song of 2010 will totally be "If I Had You." You heard it here first.

And my other favorite glamazing person is Johnny Weir. If you follow my buzz or twitters or facebooks, you probs already know about how our house has basically turned into Casa Weir. Can't get enough.

His show on Sundance, Be Good Johnny Weir, follows him and his cadre of Russian trainers and fabulous outfits. It's worth getting the super special cable for (that, and Logo for RuPaul's Drag Race).

In other random happenings, I've been getting a lot of books out of the library since I have free time and no money and love to read. Those in Portland know how awesome the Multnomah County system is. Last week I found someone's old "to do" list in my copy of "The Left Hand of Darkness." Someone had to pick Bill up from the airport at 4:30. Today I found a temporary tattoo in my copy of "Cycler" and another "to do" list. On the back of this to do list (which included turning on the straightner and doing makeup) was a convo between 2 girls about how one of them 'did it' with Brent last night at the CYO dance! OMG No Way!



I've seen on Oprah et. al. all about how kids these days are into rainbow parties and sexting and stuff. OMG!1!!TehChildrunz! I'm glad that they're still actually just hooking up and writing notes to each other about it.

Never Gonna Get It

Lately, I've had many discussions with Kerry about that horrible David Guetta/Akon song "Sexy Bitch," (He's TRYING to not be disrespectful. But these bitches! It's just too hard sometimes!) and the New Boyz/Ray J song "Tie Me Down" about how he likes having sex with this girl but: "There's too much girls and I ain't lettin go, Cause my life is great, And you ain't nothing but a hoe"
And his excuse is: "Ay yea you know I'm a man, And I have no feelings"

There's some other song about a guy who asks this woman he was interested in if he could "visit her at work" so he could see her "slide up the pole with no panties and no shirt.



That's exactly how I feel baby meerkat! Sheesh! It makes this pop music-fan wonder what the eff these guys are thinking? Don't these men have any women in their lives at all? It makes me grateful for all the Lady Gagas and the Beyonces in the world to counter all the terrible misogynist bullshit. It's not all horribly offensive out there! When the mainstream pop-hip hop world has you down, I like to throw on one of these never-fail classics:


This song has my favorite back up vocals ever. "I'm a survivor (what!)/I'm not gonna give up (what!)/I'm not gonna stop (what!)/I'm gonna work harder (what!)." Here I must shout-out to Kim, one of my high school bffs. We used to car-sing the shit out of this song back in the day.
See also: Independent Woman




Also recommended: Shoop


Can't Hold Us Down - Christina feat. Lil' Kim

What am I forgetting? Now I'm off to Katherine's for some steak, potatoes, and Jake the Bachelor. It's the fantasy suites episode!

All my life, I've been waiting/Pass my time, procrastinating now

I've been saying to myself for the last month that one of these days I'll blog again. And I don't really have a good excuse not to now that I'm unemployed but then Kerry gets the complete DVD set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and there go a few weeks. Or I rejoin Netflix and now they have the instant watch feature and it turns out I missed a lot of 30 Rock season 3 so I guess I should just re-watch the whole season again. And they have Howard the Duck on their instant queue list, which was one of my favorite movies when I was little so I had to watch that.



Yes that is Lea Thompson. Other before-they-were-famous stars of this George Lucas disaster are Tim Robbins and Jeffrey Jones. Turns out I had terrible taste in movies as a child and it's the most boring (and MEGA-creepy) movie ever. Who knew? I bet Mac & Me is still good though, right?


There's no way this is boring or creepy, contrary to how I remember it as a movie that I made my parents rent 10 times. (I wonder why I loved movies about outer space aliens/animals?)

It's been kind of a crazy and stressful last few months for me. My job was getting increasingly insane and stupidly stupid and there wasn't a day that I came home not totally angry and upset at the situation. Things finally worked themselves out in early January and I am now living off the dole. Unemployment is a nice buffer that keeps me from totally freaking out about having no money but it's not so much that I don't regularly have mini panic attacks about getting a job.

Besides work, Christmas was awesome. I went home to see my parents and sister and her dogs and we had an awesome time.



Maude is still doing great, though since New Year's Eve we have been to the vet 3 times, once for a mild paw sprain after Portland's Snowpacalpyse 2009



and twice for what is probably allergies. Now I have to put drops in her eyes 3 times a day and wipe down her paws with these little paw-wipes so she doesn't lick them all the time. I'm glad Maude got the memo that my income has been cut to a quarter of what it was a few weeks ago.


Hmm, guess she doesn't really care that much!

Also 20 million points to whoever knows the song that I got my post title from (without Googling it cheaters!)

Things I'm Obsessed With.

More accurately, videos i've watched a trillion times in the last few weeks.

First up, this guy brought narwals in existence. Without his photography skillz, we'd never know such magical animals existed. In a way, he's like a god to the narwals. He has this super neato story about an elephant seal who felt bad for him being a completely useless predator.


These next 2 are like communion (wafer + wine!) at the Church of Sagan. And it includes Neil deGrasse Tyson, who is the shit.




Finally, you know me and how I gots to include the cute animal videos.

WANT! Like seriously. A domesticated otter would be a perfect playmate for Maude.

Also non-video things to add: Glee, the upcoming New Moon premiere, my book club with a wine problem, Bea Arthur, animals in costumes, Barney Frank, and playing Farmville on FB (ugh, i know...lame!).

Irresponsible Branding?

I think I'm gonna start cutting myself just so I can use these band-aids.

ORLY is Back!

Apropos to my last post, a judge in Georgia just struck down my favorite true-life-lolowl Orly Taitz. My definite favorite part, besides the "you're dumber than a middle schooler" burn, was the revelation that Orly Taitz used an AOL poll as evidence. What won't this woman try!? I think I will take her lead and start running my own internet polls before I need to get contracts signed.


Exhibit A - Internet Poll Results

It was conclusively found that 94.5% of the polled public prefers Party A and their counsel Agrado, Esq., as having far superior skills in general likeability, knowledge of the LOLCAT dialect, a high level of competence in Blingee-creation and finding cute animal pictures. Party B is made of fail and no one likes them. This poll result is conclusive evidence of Party A and Agrado's superiority in all things, both unicorn and non-unicorn related.

And then I would attach this picture (courtesy of Julia Segal's funny funny site) as Exhibit B


And then I would win everything forever.