Things I'm Obsessed With.

More accurately, videos i've watched a trillion times in the last few weeks.

First up, this guy brought narwals in existence. Without his photography skillz, we'd never know such magical animals existed. In a way, he's like a god to the narwals. He has this super neato story about an elephant seal who felt bad for him being a completely useless predator.


These next 2 are like communion (wafer + wine!) at the Church of Sagan. And it includes Neil deGrasse Tyson, who is the shit.




Finally, you know me and how I gots to include the cute animal videos.

WANT! Like seriously. A domesticated otter would be a perfect playmate for Maude.

Also non-video things to add: Glee, the upcoming New Moon premiere, my book club with a wine problem, Bea Arthur, animals in costumes, Barney Frank, and playing Farmville on FB (ugh, i know...lame!).

Irresponsible Branding?

I think I'm gonna start cutting myself just so I can use these band-aids.

ORLY is Back!

Apropos to my last post, a judge in Georgia just struck down my favorite true-life-lolowl Orly Taitz. My definite favorite part, besides the "you're dumber than a middle schooler" burn, was the revelation that Orly Taitz used an AOL poll as evidence. What won't this woman try!? I think I will take her lead and start running my own internet polls before I need to get contracts signed.


Exhibit A - Internet Poll Results

It was conclusively found that 94.5% of the polled public prefers Party A and their counsel Agrado, Esq., as having far superior skills in general likeability, knowledge of the LOLCAT dialect, a high level of competence in Blingee-creation and finding cute animal pictures. Party B is made of fail and no one likes them. This poll result is conclusive evidence of Party A and Agrado's superiority in all things, both unicorn and non-unicorn related.

And then I would attach this picture (courtesy of Julia Segal's funny funny site) as Exhibit B


And then I would win everything forever.

Orly Taitz

I'm convinced Orly Taitz is an actress, a secret liberal who's plan is to show how craaazy these birther wingnuts are.

Exhibit #1

And Then There's Maude

As I mentioned earlier this week, I've got a new schmooky poo face all my own. Her name is Maude (the old compromisin, enterprisin' anything but traqulizin' Right on Maude!). I did consider getting a little pit bull mix but when we went to the shelter to check out puppehs, Maude was it.



She's amazing. She loves walks, cheese, and cat food. Her dislikes include being left alone and not being able to play with the cats. I hosted wine club this weekend (which was totes fab, as always) and she did great with all our guests. It was hard the first few days leaving her when I went to work but she's ok with her crate. I know she doesn't love it but she doesn't totally hate it and cries only a little. Now we're gonna enjoy the rest of our Saturday out of this crazy effin' rain and hail watching some crappy TV. And maybe some napping.

Finally!

It's been almost a month of quiet here in Unicorn Rainbow land. But soooooo much has happened y'all. April was a pretty amazing month. As I mentioned earlier, I was off to the homeland to see the fam a couple weeks ago. It was a great trip and Warsaw was awesome. We had perfect weather and I ate lots of delicious food.

This was my Easter plate. I literally ate pate everyday I was there. Sooooooo goooood


These are Polish doughnuts from Blikle. Orange rinds on top and a rose petal sauce filling give it that extra special yum.


And one of my favorite things to do in Warsaw is go to the Old Town square and get a beer and ice cream. Though my mom looks unhappy with her soup, it was actually delicious and she loved it.

Overall it was a great trip. I loved seeing my parents and spending time with my grandparents, cousins, aunt and uncle. It was sad to leave them all but life awaits back in Portland.

Another big piece of news for this month is that I finally got a dog! My almost 2 years in planning plan has finally happened! I am officially a dog owner. And she's the best dog I could've ever imagined. She's sweet and loves to cuddle, loves her walks but when she's not walking, she'd rather be on the couch sleeping. She hasn't become friends with the cats yet cause they just want none of it but I am sure they will warm up to her soon.


I've been a terrible mom and not taken many pictures. She is fuckin adorable, especially when you hold her like a baby and she falls asleep but it's hard to take a good picture when you've got a puppeh in your arms! Her name is Maude, after the late great Bea Arthur who passed away the day that I got her. She's about a year old, maybe 1 1/2. She is the best. Here is a picture of her from the shelter web site. As you'll see, we changed her name but I don't think she cares at all. Anyway, I have to get to bed so I can get up early for our walk. Weeeee! More pictures to come. Also, tomorrow is our wine club with a book problem! Double weeee! Now if only work didn't suck a lot, all would be well. Until next time, you can watch this video of a sleeping corgi (Maude is part corgi, part rat terrier (we think)).

Insert Polish Joke Here

Just kidding. Don't. I hate those jokes.

I'm heading out to the homeland for a week or so to see the fam in Warsaw. Last time I went was 4 years ago so I'm looking forward to it. My grandparents don't have the internetz so I will only occasionally be checking email and what not from the crappy internet cafe by my grandma's house. I'll also be eating delicious Polish sausage and pierogi while drinking vodka and bringing down communism. Good times! I'm coming back the day after Easter so I hope I don't get a bucket of water poured on my head on the way to the airport. That would be teh suck. Ok I'm off!