Christmas Awesomeness

I'm back in cold rainy Portland after a wonderful week down in Alabama visiting the fam. My sister and my parents live there, as well as my sister's two dogs, Simba and Lil' Bear. They have now officially become the grandkids of the family. It's a bit ridiculous but they are truly great dogs. They may be spoiled with affection but they aren't aggressive or possessive. My parents are huge Cesar Millan fans and try to follow the Dog Whisperer way. I also got them hooked on It's Me or the Dog (I have a huge girl crush on Victoria Stillwell) so they are pretty good at controlling the puppies (which is good cause Lil' Bear is not so little).


Here's Lil' Bear doing some pre-washing of our dishes after our Christmas Eve dinner. 2 seconds after I took this picture, he bit that wooden spoon and cracked it. Oops! I had one of my best girlfriends from high school and her parents over for brunch on Christmas (we've known their family for about 14 years now). LB fell asleep under the table and snored so loud we had to yell over him. Yea he's kind of awesome. Simba is great too, best dog ever. All he wants in the world is for you to pet him and occasionally slip him some bacon.


These two brothers from another mother (and father) are awesome. The rest of my trip was great as well. I love my family. As crazy as they can be, they are endlessly hilarious, awesome, and entertaining.

I met up with most of the Girls Club, my group of girlfriends from high school. We all keep in touch pretty regularly and they are all just really awesome ladies. We had a few members missing but it was the biggest GC reunion we've had in awhile. My friend Susie has the coolest job ever. She works at Chicago Public Radio as a producer for "All Things Considered." You should listen to her stories and leave her comments about how awesome her reporting is! She says she doesn't see Ira Glass though (supposedly he's out in NYC most of the time) so no need to ask for an autograph or if he'll marry you or anything.

What else...oh! I went to a lesbian bar with my sis and saw possibly the gayest thing ever. A table decoupaged with pictures of Melissa Ethridge. Seriously. Melissa Ethridge fuckin decoupage.

Awesome! We had a great time watching the drag show and drinking cheap booze and chatting. I maybe drank a bit too much and felt it on the plane ride the next day but it was worth it.

Finally, I came home to this, my Christmas present to myself:

I cannot tell you how excited I am to carry around my new Golden Girls tote bag. I got it at this Etsy store. Afuckingmazing. So that's all for my now. I have no plans for New Year's Eve whatsoever. This is my first one actually in Portland and it's not looking like it'll shape up to be a good one, but if y'all hear of anything fun going on, let me know! I'd love to ring in 2009 in style.

Cute Overload worthy!

From my friend over at Such Ridiculosity,

Kedz on Ice from aidywi on Vimeo.

I looooove this video. But holy crap what is going on in Portland!?

Yay Vacay!

So you'd think with all this free time I have, being on vacation and all and not doing anything, I'd be better about posting. Turns out vacations make me even lazier than normal and I've barely had the energy to get up off the couch and turn off L&O or Animal Cops: Houston to shower, let alone put together words to form sentences that may be interesting to some people, accompanied by pictures of cute animals. Phew, just thinking about it makes me wanna go back to the couch (which I totes will in about 1 minute). I do have cute things to write and post pictures about (spoiler, it'll probably be about hanging out with my sister's dogs). But for now, I'll just post two ridiculous video from Japan. Both are courtesy of Tokyomango, which is really an amazingly awesome site.

First, the most patient cat on the planet.


Followed by the most patient dogs (and a monkey!). I guess animals in Japan are a billion times better behaved than any pets I know.


And this picture totes reminds me of that scene in the first Treehouse of Horrors where Lisa and the aliens have that misunderstanding about cooking humans versus cooking for forty humans.


More cuteness to come. For now I've got some Animal Planet to catch up on.

Penguins!

It's been a cold, rainy, snowy week here so to celebrate hump day (and the fact I only have 2 more days till I'm on vacation!), here is my favorite story of this week. The headline almost says it all but the story just gets better. (I realize there's a ludicrous amount of projection here. Penguins are not people but just take it as a fab funny story ok!)

Gay penguins expelled from zoo colony for stealing eggs are given their own to look after following animal rights protest

"A pair of gay penguins thrown out of their zoo colony for repeatedly stealing eggs have been given some of their own to look after following a protest by animal rights groups.

Last month the birds were segregated after they were caught placing stones at the feet of parents before waddling away with their eggs.



'We decided to give them two eggs from another couple whose hatching ability had been poor and they've turned out to be the best parents in the whole zoo,' said one of the keepers."

Chinese penguins are obviously the best at everything.

UPDATE
And I don't know how I forgot about this, but today is obviously National Funny Penguin Day! Check this out, it's hilarious. Fuck You, Penguin.

"Hey Prairie dog, I didn't realize donuts were native to the grasslands of North America! You're so fat, you make a capybara look like an African pygmy mouse!"

Omg it's sooo good.

Princess Unicorn!

I've been searching the Internet far and wide (ok...so for like, the last 10 minutes) for a screen shot of Dwight and Princess Unicorn from this past episode of the The Office. (Half-girl/half-unicorn! Things like that make me squeeeee in delight). Unfortunately I don't have the technical savvy of doing these things myself, and if Google doesn't find it for me, then I'm shit out of luck. What I did find was this website for the actual spoof product. It's kind of awesome and really goes with my blog theme.

My horn can pierce the sky!

Anywho, my snowday 2008 was pretty uneventful. Watched The Office and 30 Rock, some new Simpsons episodes (the one where Homer is afraid of the Muslim family and the crossword puzzle one - I thought both were delightful!), read a lot, and played this game called "San Juan" with 2 of my roommates and a gf of one of the roommates. It was one of those nerdy strategery games and I'll admit, it was hella fun. I kind of want to play it again.. I did venture out to Trader Joe's just to get out of the house and wow it was cold. I think I'm just not prepared clothes-wise for this kind of weather. Also my car door won't open! Here's hoping I don't have to go to work tomorrow!

Ni hao bitches

A year ago, I had just landed in Beijing, settled somewhat in my little room with the broken bed, and began my 3 days of sitting in the apartment trying to adjust to the time change and waiting for the inevitable cold that besets all foreigners entering China due to the onslaught of pollution. I never did get sick so perhaps not forcing myself to do anything those first few days (besides marathon Firefly and Freaks & Geeks) helped.

I had written out a whole sappy "I MISS CHINA!!!" whiny post but this is a happy blog about magical and cramazing things so instead, I'll just post some pictures I love.


This is the new CCTV building (China Central Television). It is directly across the street from the office building I worked in so I got to see it everyday. It does look like a big pair of pants but it is unlike any other building I've ever seen.

Meat on a stick at all hours

Few things are more satiating than leaving a bar at 3:00am with the munchies and being able to get meat (or tofu or bread) on a stick for about 10 cents.

There's a huge repository of great chinglish phrases that people have encountered and can be found all over the internets. I saw quite a few but this was definitely my favorite.

Constantly people! Not just a glass with your dinner or for special occasions.

And finally, one of the best Christmas presents I've ever received from my wonderful friend seen here.

I wore this Doraemon face mask probably every day for at least 2 months, not because it helps to keep pollution out of your lungs, but it helps keep your face warm when it's below freezing and you've got a 40-minute walk to work. Also Chinese people call the little robot cat "Xiao Ding Dang" which always made me giggle. Little ding dong!

It's been snowing all day here in Portland. I'm not a fan but I think I will brave the weather and go to TJ's. I hope I don't freeze to death.

Longest.Day.Ever.

Has today seemed like just the longest fucking day ever? I woke up and my first thought (after wanting to kill the creator of alarm clocks, as is my usual first thought every morning) was "How the fuck is it only Wednesday?!?" I got to work and every hour draaaaggggeeeeddd ooooonnnn for forever. My bestie concurred with my theory that time had somehow magically stretched. Then I went to get my hair cut and the guy trimming my bangs was like "Funny you mention long days, today has been the longest day for me too!" What's the deal y'all? I guess the only thing to do on days that go on forever (cheesus, it's not even 8:30!) is to watch videos of cute animals.

Now I don't know how this passed me by (I usually have my finger on the pulse of the cute animal stories network) but this video about Skidboot is amazing. How is that dog so smart? Anyone have any idea? Does Cesar Millan know about this? Can he explain how this dog is so brilliant? SKIDBOOT!!!



It's cramazing!

I think the Wired list did leave out a few. The cat with the major box problem comes to mind.


As does the Ninja Cat.


And this. (Ok, so it's not a video but some awesomely cute pictures. I'm sure there's a video of it somewhere on the intartubes).

But at least they have Christian the Lion on there. That video makes me tear up everytime I see it. I just watched it for the millionth time and got misty.

Anywho, I'm going to spend the rest of my day watching a movie decidedly not about cute animals. I'll let you know if Lust/Caution is worth watching. I've heard that it's the best movie ever and a horrible waste of time (from two different sources, obvs) but I love me some Ang Lee and I love me some hot Chinese actors so I'll give it a go. Here's to the end of the longest day ever.

How Agrado Spent Her Weekend

I spent the weekend at Elaine's house cause the bitch was down in Mexico where it's warm and sunny. On the upside, I got to housesit, which means I had a whole house to myself. A house that comes with a dog!! The easiest dog in the world to take care of. I let her out a few times a day, I fed her, I pet her, and then she just lay on her blanket while I watched Law & Order and Golden Girls (cause I'm 80 years old). It was heaven y'all. This is how Turtle spent most of her weekend.

I don't have a TV at home so I've been catching up on the multitudes of bizarro TV shows that are on now. I really wish I had Animal Planet. It's totes my new favorite network. I can watch it all day long. Fat Pets, Animal Cops, Dogs 101, Cats 101, It's Me or the Dog (though I'm not crazy about the new American episodes. What happened to her dominatrix outfits!?)

And isn't it weird that everything is now a realitv show? I just watched Scream Queens on Vh1. A girl I went to law school with is on Whale Wars (that show where militant animal rights activists ram into whaling ships). I saw a preview for a show about people that give parking tickets! I wonder if this is some attempt at making people happier with their jobs by showing that even mundane work is exciting enough for TV. Cause I'm in a profession that has a billion shows about it, and I seriously heart L&O, but it is nowhere near that exciting. I can't imagine that getting a role in Saw VI is really going to change your life and start your career. Being on ANTM won't even launch your career, and TyTy is exponentially more famous than all the Saw movies put together.

I also watched the season finale of The Pick-up Artist 2 (and by watched, I mean I had it on mute for half of the 10 minutes I was able to not implode from RT). Oh my god that is the most ridiculous show on the planet!! Despite the fact it is based on a laughably sexist premise, I can't even muster up the energy to be offended. Mystery is so distractingly, ludicrously ridiculous, I would need to make up a whole new word for him. At this point all I've got is wtfzomgwtf, but I'm sure I'll think of something better soon.

Now I'm back at my house. My cold sad house with other people living in it. I seriously need to get my own place soon. It's not that my roommate isn't nice (only 1 now, but 2 more are coming). I just have this thing where I don't want people around in my living space most of the time. I love having guests and stuff, but for the most part, I just want to be by myself. Especially in the morning when I'm a zombie-bitch-from-hell before I have my first cup of coffee. Is it so much to ask to just stay in your room until I leave for work! Sheesh.

Oh, and I did two other awesome things this weekend.
1) 2 of my girlfriends came over while I was at E's and we cooked an aaaaaamazing dinner of lamb meatballs on polenta with veggies. We sat around, drank wine, talked shit. It was awesome.

It doesn't look half as good in that picture as it tasted. But try it. It's fuckin delish.

2) I went to the NIN show at the Rose Quarter. Holy crap it was amazing (and I realize I say a lot of shit is amazing, but omg, seriously. This show was Afuckinmazing.*) I've seen them before and I've had a long-lasting crush on Trent Reznor (I secretly heart goth dudes. They're so pensive!), but they have put together some crazy shit for this tour. Not only do they rock the old school tracks, the visuals at the show are unreal. And again. Hot.

So that was my weekend. My birthday party was not that fun, which is why I didn't post about it. Aaah well, what can you do. I could (and probably will) write more about my new favorite shows and other awesome meals I've cooked (or my friends have cooked and I played sous chef). But it's Monday night, and I'm totes over my day.

* I really need substitutes for "amazing" and "awesome." I use them way too much.

It's my berffdaay!

Woot woot! Monday birthdays generally aren't that great, what with the work thing and all, but I managed to have a chill stress-free day at the office. I usually love to do fun things for my bday. Big dinners and nights out but I guess I shouldn't have become a lawyer a year ago and been so lame as to not really do much for my birthday by the time I'm 25. Aaaaahh well, that's how shit turns out.

I just ate at Le Pigeon for dinner and holy crap it was good. We (being my bestie, Jacob, and I) had some pig (the magical animal) for every course. Pork belly and egg noodles (with truffles - my absolute favorite flavor ever) for appetizers; beef cheek and the most amazing piece of pork I've ever had for an entree.



And for dessert? Cornbread with maple ice cream, apricots, and BACON of course!



My pictures didn't turn out that great but after more than half a bottle of wine, my camera aim and selection of camera settings was, perhaps, not at its peak. I love the Pidge for many reasons. Even their vegetarian food is awesome. I was a vegetarian for 7 years before I went to China and I've had a few wonderful vegetarian meals at Le Pigeon. I also went through my foiegrastarianism there, where I ate no meat except foie gras at LP. It's a really exclusive food movement, not too many of us ever existed. But now that I'm back to eating meat when the urge strikes, I wanted to go all out. And though I feel like I've had enough meat to last me until my next birthday, my belly is happy.

There's not too much else on my wish list this year. I do want some boots, a new winter jacket, and maybe a date with either T.I., Jon Hamm, or James Franco (shit, can I just be Sean Penn and make out with both Franco and Diego Luna!!??). Jet Li, Jon Stewart, and Rahm Emmanuel are also always on that list. Agrado's Future Dog Sprinkles Fund (AFDSF) is still accepting donations and I could really use my own apartment. One of those new condos popping up all over Portland will do just fine. Like the Sunrose on 28th & Burnside. Top floor on that one would be great. Y'all got that? Cool.