On Being Romantical

In an effort to maintain some level of connection with the very little bit of Mandarin I learned in China, I signed up at nciku.com and I like to do a daily (though usually, only a couple times a week) exercise in learning how to write a new character or phrase. Sometimes it's topical, like today I learned that 情人节 (qing ren jie) is Valentine's Day (or Feelings People Day), other times I pick random words, like 斗牛犬(dou niu quan), which is bulldog (or fight cow dog). Throw on the yingguo and you have yourself a British fight cow dog (my favorite!).

Since today is Valentine's day, their Conversation of the Day was a true lesson in being romantic.


Wife: Jīntiān qíngrénjié nǐ zěnme dōu bú sòng wǒ huār a?

今天情人节你怎么都不送我花儿啊？

It's Valentine's Day today. Why don't you give me flowers?


Husband: Nà dōngxi nàme guì, hái méi shénme yòng.

那东西那么贵，还没什么用。

They are so expensive and useless.


Wife: Kě nǐ qùnián jiù sòngwǒ le a.

可你去年就送我了啊。

But you gave me flowers last year.


Husband: Qùnián nǐ hái zhǐshì wǒ nǚpéngyǒu, xiànzài dōu shì wǒ lǎopó le, hái sònghuā tǎonǐ huānxīn a.

去年你还只是我女朋友，现在都是我老婆了，还送花讨你欢心啊！

You were my girlfriend last year. But you are already my wife now. There's no need to give you flowers to please you.



Obviously these hamsters are not yet married. That lady hamster better not get her hopes up.

Something Resembling a Year in Review

As I was commenting on E's post on New Year's Resolutions, I re-read my year-end roundup I wrote last year at around this time. I posted it on FB but I'll re-post part of it (I cut out some of the boring answers) here with commentary. I wish I wrote more cause it's amazing how many things you forget.

"1. The biggest change in your life this year?
Moving to China on a pretty short notice. Both scary and exciting.

The whole living in Beijing thing was a huge fuckin change (when I first wrote that last year, I had only been there about 3 weeks). It was amazing and I still miss it everyday. Having to come back was kind of devastating and depressing. But everything is for the best right? Right!?

Probably. The pollution probably takes a few years of your life. But still, the food, the city, cheap massages..


2. What did you do over the summer?
Studied for the Bar, took the Bar, tried to forget the Bar in Mexico, H'ville and New York, passed the Bar (woo), started freaking out about not having a job.

My summer was spent working, spending as much time as possible with my friends and boyfriend in Beijing (with a quick trip to Shanghai and Hangzhou), being depressed for awhile in Portland, and then beginning to feel better.

3. How were relationships with boyfriends/ girlfriends?
Boyfriends = generally bad. 2007 was not the year of the boyz for me. Girlfriends = amazing. Srsly, my betches are awesome. I don't know what I'd do without them.

Hmm, this is pretty much the same. 2008 was also not a year of the boyz, though my Chinese bf was cute and sweet, our relationship was a bit weird and I can't say it ended that well. But again, girlfriends = amazing.

4. What news story sticks in your mind the most from 2007?
All the fab Republican sex scandals. Thanks Larry Craig for Cocktober.

All things Obama. (BTW, I kind of want this tshirt. It combines 2 of my favorite things!) Also the Olympics and the earthquake in Sichuan were huge. Larry Craig and company set a high bar for sex scandals but I think Rick Warren is showing all the tell-tale signs of something scandalizingly awesome to come (the louder they are, the bigger the hypocrite). Spitzer's was ok but more just sad than entertaining. And I mean sad for his wife, not for him. I think Spitz is an asshole.

5. Favorite song from the year? Ack, too many good songs.

This one is a bit easier this year since I can count the number of new albums I got on 2 hands. Good new pop music is surprisingly not the easiest thing to get in Beijing (though they loooove Britney Spears). So good songs would have to be from Chairlift, Lupe Fiasco, or Hercules & Love Affair

6. Favorite artist this year? Probably The National or Jens Lekman.

One of the 3 mentioned in #5. Unless they mean artist as in 'art' art. Then I'd say whoever drew this picture, even though he's probably dead by now. Mei-mei and Ting Ting will cut a bitch just for looking at them funny!

I didn't bring back too many things from China (besides a 'Diesel' purse and 'Ferragamo' wallet) but I do have this poster up in my room and I kind of love Chinese propaganda art. It's so craze.


9. Who are you most proud of (can be a famous or non- famous person)? Heather, from ANTM.
Hahaha, I love this answer. I'm sticking to it.


12. Did you do anything you never thought you would do?
I moved to China. And started eating meat again. Mmmm lamb never tasted so good.

You may not know from my posts about my love of pig-based meats, but I was a vegetarian for 7, almost 8 years, when I moved to China and decided to start eating meat again. I don't know if I can ever go back. But for this year...hmm...working at a business law firm was definitely something I never thought I'd do. I always pictured myself a civil litigation or family law person.

19. Are you making any new years resolutions for 2008? Nope. I want a decent-paying job, a dog (english bulldog of course), and a boyfriend (or a number of cute guys to date) but whether or not any of those happen is really up in the air. I don't think I can 'resolve' to get those. Except the dog. I think my resolution will be to get a dog. It's the only one I have total control over.

Ha, so getting a dog is still on my list for 2009 (this is definitely the year for Sprinkles) but I'm not tied to my English bulldog anymore. They're not too common in shelters and the Humane Society. Any small, kind of lazy dog will do. I'm not too concerned about a bf and I have a job. I do need to add getting my own apartment to the list. I want to buy a condo but I'll be happy with a nice place to rent. Sorry roomies! Y'all are totes cool but I'm a loner when it comes to my living space. Also, I want to read more, write more, and be more proactive about getting out and having a life.

And that's about it. Am I forgetting something big from last year? Probably, but I drink too much wine to have a good memory."

So there's kind of a personal roundup. I probably am forgetting tons of stuff about 2008 but I still drink too much wine to have a good memory. I'm taking my day off today to scour through the internets for my fav pop culture and cute animal stories of 2008 that I will probably post up here soon. I'm feeling a bit re-re and lazy this morning.

Happy New Year's y'all!!

Ni hao bitches

A year ago, I had just landed in Beijing, settled somewhat in my little room with the broken bed, and began my 3 days of sitting in the apartment trying to adjust to the time change and waiting for the inevitable cold that besets all foreigners entering China due to the onslaught of pollution. I never did get sick so perhaps not forcing myself to do anything those first few days (besides marathon Firefly and Freaks & Geeks) helped.

I had written out a whole sappy "I MISS CHINA!!!" whiny post but this is a happy blog about magical and cramazing things so instead, I'll just post some pictures I love.


This is the new CCTV building (China Central Television). It is directly across the street from the office building I worked in so I got to see it everyday. It does look like a big pair of pants but it is unlike any other building I've ever seen.

Meat on a stick at all hours

Few things are more satiating than leaving a bar at 3:00am with the munchies and being able to get meat (or tofu or bread) on a stick for about 10 cents.

There's a huge repository of great chinglish phrases that people have encountered and can be found all over the internets. I saw quite a few but this was definitely my favorite.

Constantly people! Not just a glass with your dinner or for special occasions.

And finally, one of the best Christmas presents I've ever received from my wonderful friend seen here.

I wore this Doraemon face mask probably every day for at least 2 months, not because it helps to keep pollution out of your lungs, but it helps keep your face warm when it's below freezing and you've got a 40-minute walk to work. Also Chinese people call the little robot cat "Xiao Ding Dang" which always made me giggle. Little ding dong!

It's been snowing all day here in Portland. I'm not a fan but I think I will brave the weather and go to TJ's. I hope I don't freeze to death.

Longest.Day.Ever.

Has today seemed like just the longest fucking day ever? I woke up and my first thought (after wanting to kill the creator of alarm clocks, as is my usual first thought every morning) was "How the fuck is it only Wednesday?!?" I got to work and every hour draaaaggggeeeeddd ooooonnnn for forever. My bestie concurred with my theory that time had somehow magically stretched. Then I went to get my hair cut and the guy trimming my bangs was like "Funny you mention long days, today has been the longest day for me too!" What's the deal y'all? I guess the only thing to do on days that go on forever (cheesus, it's not even 8:30!) is to watch videos of cute animals.

Now I don't know how this passed me by (I usually have my finger on the pulse of the cute animal stories network) but this video about Skidboot is amazing. How is that dog so smart? Anyone have any idea? Does Cesar Millan know about this? Can he explain how this dog is so brilliant? SKIDBOOT!!!



It's cramazing!

I think the Wired list did leave out a few. The cat with the major box problem comes to mind.


As does the Ninja Cat.


And this. (Ok, so it's not a video but some awesomely cute pictures. I'm sure there's a video of it somewhere on the intartubes).

But at least they have Christian the Lion on there. That video makes me tear up everytime I see it. I just watched it for the millionth time and got misty.

Anywho, I'm going to spend the rest of my day watching a movie decidedly not about cute animals. I'll let you know if Lust/Caution is worth watching. I've heard that it's the best movie ever and a horrible waste of time (from two different sources, obvs) but I love me some Ang Lee and I love me some hot Chinese actors so I'll give it a go. Here's to the end of the longest day ever.

"We said Meh. M-E-H. Meh."

I am a huge fan of new words, shortened words, throwing -tastic at the end of anything to make an adjective, misusing suffixes and prefixes, and even occasionally mixing 2 languages for new words (like saying boozeria for the liquor store, or xingqiFriday for the day of the week). We've all heard strategery, lolz, frienemies, blergh, and so on.

So I was happy to read that meh is now official. I use this word all the time to express indifference, or if I'm trying to be polite when I don't like something and instead of saying it's terrible, I can say it's just meh. I never really thought about it not being an actual word or that people wouldn't understand what I was saying. Americans (and generally, English speakers), even if they have never seen The Simpsons, can usually deduce the meaning from the dismissive tone or the shrug of shoulders. One day when I was in Beijing, I was in a taxi with my then-bf, who's from from the mainland. He asked my opinion about something and since I didn't really care for it one way or another, I said meh. Him not being a native English speaker, and definitely not an avid watcher of the Simpsons, just looked at me with a confused face and said "what?" I said, "Meh. m-e-h. meh." (As if quoting the episode would clarify the situation or perhaps make him appreciate my wittiness...) He responded "I don't know that word. What does it mean?" After a few seconds of thought, I said it wasn't actually a word, that it was closer to slang, but that it meant indifferent. If you don't really like something but don't really hate it, it's meh.

It's a funny thing to explain slang to people who are learning your language as a second language. What was even more common was explaining how we use words in different ways than their intended meaning. For example, my roommate and co-worker in Beijing (who's American) and I both like to say 'that's so balls' when something sucks. Explaining that to non-English speakers is tricky. How do you explain that balls can be the equivalent to something being bad when balls are just things that you toss around in various sports (and that when we say something is balls cause it sucks, well we mean a different kind of ball)? Then I ran into the added difficulty that when I said it means "it sucks," many Chinese people had learned that that's a bad word. Fair enough, I mean, when I really think about it, it does make me giggle (I have the sense of humor of an 8 year old boy - omg! that internet quiz did figure me out!). But I've just used these phrases so much that I'm desensitized from their actual meanings. I hadn't had anyone be offended by 'that sucks' since my youngin days in Alabama, and even then I thought it was such a tame phrase. I guess I could've said it sucks like a vacuum cleaner or a black hole, but that doesn't really make sense. I think I ended up explaining that it's just not that bad (I mean, it's no "that's some motherfuckin bullshit" right?) Basically, that whole interchange just taught me that I need to not use slang phrases that involve male genitalia when talking to people who don't use slang.

Luckily meh is totally inoffensive and so easily rolls off the tongue when experiencing something mediocre that it was pretty easy to explain, and now at least one person in China is using meh the way the lord intended it.

Random Memory Triggers

So supposedly in Tokyo, on the Yamanote line of the subway, each stop has its own background music to listen to while you wait on the platform. Logically, some Japanese company came up with this little piggy bank that plays those subway tunes when you put money in it.



This reminded me of Beijing, where every 7-11 has the exact same 20 second tune that plays over and over again, all day long. In every store. It was a tune that I'd get stuck in my head and not even know where it came from. I once was hanging around with a good friend and he randomly started humming the tune, then I started humming the tune and we both were like "what's that from!?" It was so embedded in our minds from too many trips to the 7-11 (it's different in China...) that we didn't even consciously know where it came from.

But back to the Tokyo train - and there is a tenuous connection in my head between the two - I just love living in cities full of seemingly afterthought details. While I'm sure there was a group of people that made the decision to have different little jingles at each stop for this line of the subway, it's not an active advertising campaign as much as just a friendly mental reminder that "you're here!" The next stop will be a different friendly reminder that "hey, you're somewhere else now" (and of course, great for blind people!). How cool is that!? Such a tiny detail but when you live in a place where subways are so common that you spend hours, even days, of your life on them, it can be such a mental trigger. I'm sure that if I took the Yamanote train everyday, those little songs would become inextricable parts of my memory of them. And sure, if I had to work at a 7-11 in Beijing, that little 20 second jingle would probably drive me insane and haunt me in my sleep. But as a place I went to get Chinese hot dogs, bean paste buns, $.50 packs of cigs, and bottles of cheap Great Wall red wine, it was a delightful and tiny little jingle of familiarity. Often it's the little things that really make a place special for you as a resident of that place, not just as a tourist. Beijing has so many little things about it that I loved, and this video just triggered one miniscule random little piece of it.

(hat tip to TokyoMango)