The Not-State-of-the-Union

I have to admit. Political speeches just aren't as funny anymore. No new words, no gross mispronunciations, no vague and unsubstantiated threats from things like human animal hybrids. I still remember a time when one could finish off 4, maybe 5 beers in roughly an hour, just from George Bush saying the word "terrorism." Luckily for the country (and my liver) those days are over. Obama's speech was like his previous, well-prepared speeches. Awesome, thoughtful, and leaves little room for disappointment.

Luckily, we still have the Republican response. That's where Bobby "the excorcist" Jindal comes in! Besides making fun of light rail and bringing up Katrina (seriously, why would a Republican even bring up that colossal Republican failure?), didn't he sound suspiciously (and hilariously) like Kenneth from 30 Rock? Just picture it...

"During Katrina, I visited Sheriff Harry Lee, a Democrat and a good friend of mine. When I walked into his makeshift office I'd never seen him so angry. He was yelling into the phone: 'Well, I'm the Sheriff and if you don't like it you can come and arrest me!' I asked him: 'Sheriff, what's got you so mad?' He told me that he had put out a call for volunteers to come with their boats to rescue people who were trapped on their rooftops by the floodwaters. The boats were all lined up ready to go -- when some bureaucrat showed up and told them they couldn't go out on the water unless they had proof of insurance and registration. I told him, 'Sheriff, that's ridiculous.' And before I knew it, he was yelling into the phone: 'Congressman Jindal is here, and he says you can come and arrest him too!' Harry just told the boaters to ignore the bureaucrats and start rescuing people. "

Can't you just see Kenneth saying that! And the cartoonishness of that story convinced me that the evil bureaucrat looked something like this:

As he let out an evil guffaw before running off mumbling something about a mouse and squirrel.

I twittered the speech with my friend Julia (who, no joke, has Russian parents named Boris and Natasha) and I had a twitter-jinx with my friend Kim about how Bobby sounded just like everyone's favorite NBC page. Then I looked on Wonkette and they liveblogged the phenomena. OS Khang has already done the appropriate photoshopping. Goes to show that all of your original ideas are probably shared by hundreds of people on the Internet.